No 102: The Shewee

I have fond memories of my childhood holidays. My sister, my two brothers and I would bundle into the back of my parents car and we would drive from darkest Essex to darkest Wales, a journey that typically took 7+ hours. Inevitably someone would be sick before we reached Dartford Tunnel and, shortly thereafter, someone else would declare they needed a wee. This would instigate a chain of events that would culminate within minutes of us all needing the toilet and all of us declaring no we can’t wait until the next service station.  My father would grudgingly pull over and we would tumble out. While us boys gratefully relieved ourselves, boldly and proudly spraying with abandon at anything (or anyone) who happened to be within an 8 foot radius (young bladders have so much more oomph that older ones), my sister would have to scuttle off into the woods to find somewhere to squat with dignity. Girls just don’t have the luxury of being able to urinate-and-run.

If only my sister had known about the Shewee. Apparently it was invented back in 1999 but it has only recently made it onto my radar. The Shewee is a device that, according to its website (http://www.shewee.com/), provides women with a revolutionary way to urinate. Apparently one is sold every 3 minutes. I assume it’s not the same one being re-sold over and over again, although the website is suspiciously quiet on this. You can buy them in Original Black or ‘Freedom’ Purple. There is even the Shewee Extreme (for £10.99) or the Shewee Original (a mere 6 quid). I don’t know what circumstances qualify for the use of the Extreme model. I have diligently studied photos of both models and can’t get my head around how they work.

You may be asking why my sudden interest in this product. My introduction came via a good friend at Yorkshire Water, Tom Taylor. Tom performs in a band called the Loos Brothers. They have recently written a funky, blues-ridden song about the Shewee. You can download it at http://loosbrothers.bandcamp.com/releases. If you don’t like the song then you should still download it as the money goes to WaterAid. £1 well spent.

The John Belushi/Dan Ackroyd fans will not be surprised to hear that The Loos Brothers are on a mission: a mission from WaterAid to promote Everyone, Everywhere by 2030. If you are not a JB/DA fan then this mission reference will be meaningless. Everyone, Everywhere is the name of the UN’s drive for everyone to have a tap, and everywhere to have a toilet by the year 2030.

The only place the Loos Brothers have been seen in public for the last 5 years is managing the African latrines at Glastonbury. Apparently one member of the band worked at Yorkshire Water for 32 years. True to the enigma that is the bands personality, he now makes cheese and can no longer fit comfortably into the shoes he wore at his wedding. These are facts that only a true fan needs to know.

As an aside, if you like this music then you will love http://klonk1.bandcamp.com/releases. This is another band Tom Taylor plays in and it is a high energy concoction of jazz/rock/middle eastern funk that simply buzzes along. One could say it was music to urinate to, but that would be degrading it. The website suggests you donate a minimum of £4 for the album. I donated £10 as I was immediately smitten by the intensity of the performances that I felt they deserved more.

This may go some way to explain why I am not cut out to be a successful private equity investor, but at least I now know what a Shewee is. My sister will be so pleased when I tell her.