Friday, 22 May 2015

No 101: How do you know if your waitress is wearing underwear?



Last week a colleague and I had lunch at Roast, a classy restaurant in Borough Market, London. There are two notable things about Roast. The first is that they proudly employ chefs who have been trained by The Clink. The Clink is a charity whose sole aim is to reduce the reoffending rates of ex-offenders by giving them training in practical skills that will aid their rehabilitation. In particular, they train them as chefs.

At any one time there are over 150 prisoners going through The Clinks training process. In addition to the hands-on experience and real-value qualifications, the ex-offenders also get assistance with interview techniques and a comprehensive mentoring scheme for the first 12 months once they are in their new job. Purely by chance I happen to know the CEO of The Clink and he recently shared with me some statistics. It costs £46k to house a prisoner for a year in the UK. In their first year this cost is actually nearer 70k, due to the court costs. The average reoffending rate (within 12 months) is 26.2% (Ministry of Justice, 2013 – see I even did some real research!). For juveniles this reoffending rate rises to 36.6%. This is completely crazy. It is a societal failure on a breath-taking scale.

To put a prisoner through The Clink training programme costs just £4k. The reoffending rates of Clink-trained ex-offenders is less than 10%. The numbers quite simply speak for themselves. This is a gloriously successful venture.  But let’s ignore the numbers and think instead about the impact on society. People whose lives were unravelling have been given a chance to earn a salary, to contribute, to have respect. They have been given a chance to get their lives back.  

So why am I, a water industry man, so excited about this? As we ate our (terrifically tasty) meal we talked about the challenges the water sector faces and it became obvious that the water industry needs a Clink-like initiative. I can’t tell you the number of times I have attended conferences where speakers pontificate over the crisis that we are facing due to the depleting number of skilled field-workers. How, they ask, can we ensure we have adequately trained staff to keep our aging assets maintained and operating? It doesn’t take a genius to join the dots and see that we need a Clink-like initiative for the water sector.

Perhaps (hopefully) there is already a similar scheme in place, but I have not heard of it. One of my missions for the next few months is to explore this further. If you feel minded to join me on this journey I would love to hear from you.

The second notable thing from our visit to Roast was that the waitress who showed us to our table was wearing the tightest, most sheer, most revealing pair of trousers that either me or my colleague had ever seen. I have no doubt that other diners also questioned whether she was actually wearing any underwear, it was that revealing. When I got back to the office and mentioned this to my female colleagues and they commented that she was ‘probably wearing spandex’. This phrase means absolutely nothing to me and has only served to heighten my interest further.


Of course, it goes without saying that a Note discussing ladies underwear is totally inappropriate and crass. However had I entitled this Note ‘Two blokes go to a restaurant and have an idea’ then few of you would have bothered to read this far. I trust you don’t feel too cheated. If you have suggestions on how we can develop the idea of training ex-offenders to work in the water sector then I would love to hear from you. This concept has to be worthy of further investigation. If you can explain what spandex is as well then even better. 

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