No 161: I have a new hero

Actually I have three. They are all women. Two are Haitian. Readers of last week’s blog will recall that I have been in Haiti for the past few days, participating in the annual ‘Swim for Haiti’ event. My new heroes are all a product of this glorious event.

First there is Naomy Grand’Pierre. Naomy is 19. She is a feisty, self-assured young lady who positively exudes good-will and charm. She also happens to be 50% of the 2016 Haitian Olympic Swimming team. Seldom does one get to meet people who can instantly fill a room with just their natural charisma. Naomy is one such lady. Watch for her as the years pass, she will be outstanding. She is the whole package: gracious, funny, intelligent, focused, hardworking. She has a certain celebrity cache in Haiti and watching her give access to her fans, without ego or reluctance, was a wonder.

Naomy was one of the 20 or so swimmers who did the 10km sea-swim (another 40 did a 1.5km event). Her usual event is the 50m freestyle sprint. Clearly a 10km swim is a very different beast, requiring a different set of muscles and a very different mind-set. A gruelling sea swim marathon requires a unique mix of pig-headed resilience and old-man stamina, both attributes that I happen to possess. She may be a race horse, but this is an event where the plodding donkey should come up trumps. Such was my confidence that I would beat her that I confess before the swim I toyed with a title for this blog being ‘I beat an Olympian’. I could not have been more wrong. She completed it over an hour faster than me, coming in at 3 hours 20min. While I struggled on, praying for death continually for the last 2 km, she skimmed through the water like a dolphin. She even found time to stop and take selfies with her waterproof camera phone. The woman is a superhero. I feel an urge to go to Tokyo in 2020 just to cheer her on.

My second hero is a lady called Dominique. It would be ungallant to share her age, suffice to say that in the UK she would be drawing a pension. Dominique is a classical Haitian matriarch. When she speaks, you listen. It was she who corralled many of the local sponsors to support the event. It was she who got the beaches cleaned. It was she who went swimmer-by-swimmer before we set off, speaking in Creole to each of our fishermen (each swimmer had a dedicated fisherman who canoed alongside us). She explaining crisply and clearly to the fisherman exactly what each swimmers personal preferences were with regards positioning. This might sound trivial but it was vitally important. In a sea swim there is nothing worse than finding your fisher-companion is on the wrong side of you (or is behind you!). You have to keep stopping to re-calibrate your line of sight. It saps your energy. She had observed this from last year’s event and she wasn’t going to let any of the swimmers suffer the same fate this year.

Best of all however was watching her complete the swim. She was the last one out of the water and an enthusiastic crowd welcomed her home. I swear that everyone who had completed the swim watched her in awe, unable to fully process just how she had managed to keep on going. She spent 6 hours in the water, resolutely powering on. Some young bucks joined her for her last few hundred metres, providing emotional support for those last few pulls. It was a beautiful moment as we welcomed to shore this magnificent, generous lady. I can but aspire to have her gracious attitude and glorious resilience. 

And so we come to my third hero: Shaunna Cubberley. If you read last week’s blog you will know her story. Shaunna completed the swim and raised an impressive $7k for Watering Minds, the charity programme that provides water to schools in Haiti. Her donation alone will enable over 1000 children to have a clean safe supply of water for the coming school year. This might seem strange to those of us who need only turn a tap to get hydrated, but in Haiti that luxury is simply not available. Most schools in Haiti have no water supply. It has been shown that lack of water at schools can be a key driver for truancy, and that well-hydrated children work harder and play harder. They stay at school. They get educated. They achieve better grades. Society improves. The ripples that come from putting water into a school are far reaching.

To those of you who supported Shaunna, thank you. You have made a difference.

This blog, and previous entries can be found at: http://notesfrompiers.blogspot.co.uk/

No 160: Save your admiration/pity (delete as appropriate) for Shaunna…

On Sunday 19^th Feb I am doing a 10km sea-swim in Haiti. Long-time followers of this blog will recall that this is an annual event in my calendar. This year the swim is worryingly 3km longer than previous years. It is organised by Jim Chu, one of the most inspirational, hard-working and socially-minded entrepreneurs on the planet. Jim is the CEO for dlo Haiti Inc, a water kiosk business that provides water to the rural population in Haiti. Isle proudly supports dlo Haiti through REEF, the Isle ‘foundation’ which offers financial assistance to water-sector entrepreneurs in developing countries.

In previous years I have been joined in this swim by both colleagues from Isle and my sons. Indeed, last year Tim Day, MD for Isle Australia, led the pack, completing the 7km swim in an impressive 2hrs 47 minutes. I came 4^th (8 minutes after Tim), pleased simply to have avoided the jellyfish that blighted the previous years’ event, nor attracted interest from the local shark population. It is always good to get out of the water with both arms and legs still intact. 

It is well known that at a certain age many men go through a period of madness. Fast cars and affairs are not my thing so I have opted instead to ‘do something physically extreme’ in the vain hope it will prove my fading masculinity isn’t really fading, and might even give my life purpose. When this years’ event was announced I reached out to my colleagues and family to invite them to participate. There was the initial rush of enthusiasm. Buoyed by great intentions we quickly had a party of 7 joining me in my own personal mid-life tragedy. However, steadily the enthusiasm dissolved away and now the Isle representation has shrunk to just myself and Shaunna Cubberley, the marketing manager in Isle’s London office. 

Shaunna is not doing this to prove her physical resilience. Her motivation is pure and righteous. She is raising funds for the local charity Watering Minds, which provides clean, safe water to local schools. Neither is she is a sporting fanatic. Indeed, shortly after she committed to participate she visited her local swimming baths for a training session. Somewhat cruelly her teacher informed her she swam like a chicken. I have checked my sources: chickens don’t swim. 

I exaggerate of course. What her teacher actually said was that one of her arms was ‘like a chicken wing’, unable to fully extend. The odds on her swimming in a series of ever decreasing circles are surprisingly high. 

So please don’t feel either sympathy or admiration for me. I don’t deserve it. However please give Shaunna the support she deserves. She could have joined her other Isle colleagues and found an excuse to drop out. While they gradually melted away she stuck to it, resolutely and bravely determined to see it through, chicken wing or not. Drop her an email to wish her well (shaunna.cubberley@isleutilities.com). Or even better, contribute to her masterful fund-raising efforts here.  (https://www.generosity.com/medical-fundraising/watering-minds-a-water-for-schools-programme)

To redeem my own wretched, inexcusable failure to set up a sponsoring page I will joyfully match the first £2k of contributions made to her. Go on, contribute. You know she deserves it.

No 159: The Meryl Streep/Brad Pitt of the Water Industry

‘A list’ actors are those who are so successful that simply having their name associated with a film guarantees a box office hit. Think Tom Cruise, Meryl Streep, Brad Pitt. B-list actors are those who seldom headline, or only headline when they have notable supporting stars. Wikipedia tells me that Pierce Brosnan and Nicholas Cage are now both B listers, which seems wrong but the internet never lies. C-listers are those actors you recognise but can’t immediately name. D-listers are those that appear on game shows. Z-listers go on Big Brother.

This week I have been at the Abu Dhabi International Water Summit. Isle has been running a series of Innovation Competitions throughout the week. These Innovation competitions showcase the best of the best in the world of water technology. Three separate competitions over three separate days, covering Municipal, Industrial and Real Estate innovations respectively. I like to think of it as a smorgasbord of ‘A list’ technologies, with possibly the odd B-lister included (to make the A listers look even better).

It would be impossible to do justice to all the technologies here, suffice to say that I spent my days bouncing in wonderment from one mind-blower to another. There was the aeration process that ‘super oxygenates’ water, enabling not only a step change in wastewater treatment but also, somewhat bizarrely, a 15% saving in carbon when the super-oxygenated water is used to cure concrete (www.oxifiniti.com). Or the low-water-usage shower developed out of the NASA ‘Mission to Mars’ space programme (www.orbital-systems.com).  Or how about the holistic microcosm treatment process that wraps a whole ecosystem into a space not much bigger than a stamp (slight exaggeration on my part) (www.carexofsweden.com). Or the water conditioner that has no moving parts and uses no chemicals and has a payback of months. The amount of energy this simple device could save is truly ground breaking (www.halcyanwater.com).

These technologies, along with all the others too numerous to mention here, are all of course winners in their own right, in their own fields. Yet our guest judges had to select our metaphorical Streeps and Pitts. The Municipal award was taken by New Sky Energy (www.newskyenergy.com) for their gas sweetening technology that will revolutionise the treatment of hydrogen sulphide (a gas that smells so bad even my teenage student sons would complain if exposed to it). The Industrial winner was Saltech B.V (www.salttech.nl), a Dutch technology that can treat high salinity water in a low energy, single step process (ok…to a layman that might not sound like a big thing, but trust me it is). And the Real Estate winner was the WaterBlade, an astonishingly simple water saving device that uses 10% of the water from a conventional tap yet gives a gloriously luxurious handwashing experience (think Airblade hand dryers but with water) (www.waterblade.co.uk). Well done all.

Other highlights from this week include the intimate evening I spent at the Swedish Ambassador’s residence, schmoozing with innovators whose blood still pumps with Viking passion. Over my career I have been lucky enough to work with innovation ‘hubs’ from around the world but it was at this event that I met my first Arctic Innovation Hub. It must surely be the only one in the Arctic Circle. Apparently its popular with car manufacturers as a testing zone. They take cars to the point of destruction, testing their physical robustness and speed. Bearing in mind my recent driving challenges perhaps, just perhaps, a move to North Sweden is on the cards for the Clark family.

Final thought, the Abu Dhabi International Water Summit was opened by a spray of global world leaders and local dignitaries. These included the Presidents from Costa Rica, Kazakhstan and Montenegro. I guess somewhere there is an ‘A – Z List of World Leaders’ and they must all be acutely aware of where they sit on this list, jostling for position at each international pow-wow.

Following Theresa May’s recent comments re the UKs ‘hard Brexit’ I assume she is now awaiting the call to join the Big Brother house. 

For previous editions of these Notes please visit http://notesfrompiers.blogspot.co.uk/

No 158: When it comes to court appearances, how often is too often?

My first appearance in court was back in the late 1980s. I had been driving for about a year and was involved in a car accident. The case was dismissed within minutes, not because I was wholly innocent (it had been one of those situations where neither party was paying enough attention), but because the other party started making statements that were patently untrue. My then girlfriend (who is now my wife) appeared in court beside me, partly as moral support, partly as a character reference, and partly because she had witnessed the event in question. I went into the courtroom fearing I would be banned, I walked out acquitted.

My second appearance was about 10 years later. Speeding cameras were still a relatively new phenomenon and following a spate of poor choices on my part I had accumulated more points on my license than is wise. I pleaded guilty. My time in court was mercifully brief. I went into the courtroom expecting to be banned, I walked out with a hefty fine and a slap on the wrists, but with my license still valid.  

My third appearance was earlier today. It may have been over 15 years since my last visit but little had changed. Except this time my wife was not with me to provide character support/shoulder to cry on (sensibly she had better things to do). I was charged with speeding, having been caught on camera driving at 69mph on the motorway in a 50mph zone. I pleaded guilty. I went into the courtroom knowing I would be banned. I walked out not at all surprised.

The judge was rather nice about it all, and we had a little to-and-fro banter about the challenges of modern driving. Don’t press so hard on the accelerator might be the obvious advice to someone like me. Or perhaps: pay more attention to the variable speed signs. Either way, as the judge said with a little conciliatory shrug, ‘speeding is speeding’. When invited to give a statement I wisely chose to reject the pearls of wisdom that friends have encouraged me to use. I did not, for example, say that I was sorry….Sorry that the police were not spending more time chasing real criminals.  Neither did I point out that the speed awareness courses clearly don’t work, otherwise I would not have been appearing in court today. In particular I chose to reject my loving brothers advice that I base my appeal on the fact that I pay so much in parking fines that local authorities across the UK would be harshly hit without my regular contributions. No, I simply said I was sorry and I took my punishment (a 6 month ban). Clearly I have not yet learnt my lesson.

On the plus side this will help with one of my New Year Resolutions. I vowed to tread more softly on the planet and this will help. Now all I have to do is find a way to get banned from flying too and I will be able to really reduce my carbon footprint.

For previous versions of this blog visit http://notesfrompiers.blogspot.co.uk/

No 157: The 2017 Utility Week Awards

Once a year the great and the good of the UK gas, water and electricity sectors gather at a posh hotel off Park Lane to celebrate and showcase their recent achievements. It is a classic industry back-slapping celebration and is a glorious bit of self-indulgence. 1500 people dressed to the nines in everything from skimpy black dresses to over-sized dinner jackets (depending on personal preferences and body shapes). Everyone hoping for their moment of glory, their chance to shake the hand of the celebrity Compare Jeremy Vine, and walk away with a coveted trophy.

The organisers (Utility Week) pulled out all the stops and created a glitzy 1980s vibe that resonated with (at least) the middle aged attendees such as myself. It transported us back 30 years to when we were younger, bolder and still had that naïve belief that we could make a difference. A band of enthusiastic singers, resplendent in 1980s lycra, welcomed each award winner to the stage with a 20 second sound bite from an 80s classic. As the night progressed the songs became slightly more obscure. Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now was followed by The Final Countdown, which then became Fame and, bizarrely ended with Gary Newman’s ‘Cars. Somewhere along the way I lost the thread of this but was whipped along by the glitz, glamour and tightly-lycraed dancers. It was all rather entertaining.

I was attending as a guest of Thames Water. It is 2 years since I left Thames and it was great to be back with my old work ‘family’ to celebrate Christmas early. I played the part of the distant, slightly embarrassing uncle who everyone knows has only been invited because no one else would have him due to his tendency to dribble, fart and say inappropriate things. I did my best to play the part.

One of the projects I had been honoured to be part of while at Thames was the installation of Europe’s first commercial scale phosphorus recovery facility at Slough. Phosphorus is a finite element vital to all life on earth and we are currently squandering it as if there was no tomorrow. It represents one of the greatest environmental challenges of our generation and the facility at Slough is an important step forward. Not surprisingly the project had been shortlisted for the prestigious Environmental Award. I was confident that we were a shoe-in. The trophy was ours.

With hindsight there were signs that we were not going to be successful from early on in the evening. Our table was No 123 and was about 2 miles from the main stage. Had we been successful it would have involved a 4 hour trek through the throng of people, tables, and eclectic 1980s memorabilia just to get to the stage.

It is a minor compensation but at least the winning project was from a Water utility rather than the rabble of Gas businesses or Sparkies who tried to share the limelight.  Severn Trent Water walked away with top prize for their commendable efforts with renewable energy. I am not bitter.

Much.  

These Notes, and previous editions, are available at http://notesfrompiers.blogspot.co.uk/