No 157: The 2017 Utility Week Awards

Once a year the great and the good of the UK gas, water and electricity sectors gather at a posh hotel off Park Lane to celebrate and showcase their recent achievements. It is a classic industry back-slapping celebration and is a glorious bit of self-indulgence. 1500 people dressed to the nines in everything from skimpy black dresses to over-sized dinner jackets (depending on personal preferences and body shapes). Everyone hoping for their moment of glory, their chance to shake the hand of the celebrity Compare Jeremy Vine, and walk away with a coveted trophy.

The organisers (Utility Week) pulled out all the stops and created a glitzy 1980s vibe that resonated with (at least) the middle aged attendees such as myself. It transported us back 30 years to when we were younger, bolder and still had that naïve belief that we could make a difference. A band of enthusiastic singers, resplendent in 1980s lycra, welcomed each award winner to the stage with a 20 second sound bite from an 80s classic. As the night progressed the songs became slightly more obscure. Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now was followed by The Final Countdown, which then became Fame and, bizarrely ended with Gary Newman’s ‘Cars. Somewhere along the way I lost the thread of this but was whipped along by the glitz, glamour and tightly-lycraed dancers. It was all rather entertaining.

I was attending as a guest of Thames Water. It is 2 years since I left Thames and it was great to be back with my old work ‘family’ to celebrate Christmas early. I played the part of the distant, slightly embarrassing uncle who everyone knows has only been invited because no one else would have him due to his tendency to dribble, fart and say inappropriate things. I did my best to play the part.

One of the projects I had been honoured to be part of while at Thames was the installation of Europe’s first commercial scale phosphorus recovery facility at Slough. Phosphorus is a finite element vital to all life on earth and we are currently squandering it as if there was no tomorrow. It represents one of the greatest environmental challenges of our generation and the facility at Slough is an important step forward. Not surprisingly the project had been shortlisted for the prestigious Environmental Award. I was confident that we were a shoe-in. The trophy was ours.

With hindsight there were signs that we were not going to be successful from early on in the evening. Our table was No 123 and was about 2 miles from the main stage. Had we been successful it would have involved a 4 hour trek through the throng of people, tables, and eclectic 1980s memorabilia just to get to the stage.

It is a minor compensation but at least the winning project was from a Water utility rather than the rabble of Gas businesses or Sparkies who tried to share the limelight.  Severn Trent Water walked away with top prize for their commendable efforts with renewable energy. I am not bitter.

Much.  

These Notes, and previous editions, are available at http://notesfrompiers.blogspot.co.uk/