Wednesday, 24 June 2015

No 108: Male Bonding (Middle Eastern style)


Last night I caught the overnight flight from Melbourne to Dubai. It was not a good journey. I was at the back of the plane in the cheap seats, squeezed next to a stocky man who, despite his best efforts, struggled to contain himself within his allotted seat space. Every time one of us dropped off the other person would wriggle and we would both be awake. I have a sneaky feeling that eventually we gently snuggled into each other and drifted off, but I prefer not to think about this too much. It was the start of a day of male bonding.

I landed in Dubai feeling fairly groggy at about 8am. After a bit of haggling I secured myself a taxi for the day and proceeded to my various meetings. Over the day my driver, Shaniker, and I developed a great camaraderie. It is Ramadan and he, like almost everyone in the region, is fasting during daylight. As we travelled from Dubai to Abu Dhabi he shared with me his fasting stories. The Ramadan fast is truly nil-by-mouth, which excludes food and water (and I learnt from my new best friend, cigarettes). Not that I had a lot of choice since no shops were open and no one offered any refreshments in the meetings but I decided to join Shaniker in the day of fasting. Our bonding was a two-way process. Shaniker quickly picked up on my obsession with scoring each meeting I attend out of 10. He would enthusiastically quiz me on how things had gone. If nothing else it kept both our minds off the growing aching hunger as the day progressed. Such was our bonding that tomorrow Shaniker has agreed to repeat the exercise, being my driver to get be back to Dubai and on to Sharjah for the last set of meetings before I finally return home.

The highlight of today however was this evening. The Ramadan fast breaks with an Iftar feast at sundown, around 720pm. I had been invited to a post-Iftar meeting at the private residence of one of the senior directors of the Abu Dhabi Environment Agency. I arrived at 930pm a little unsure of what the evening would entail. I arrived with a big box of Ferrero Roche chocolates, bought somewhat hastily at my hotel gift shop. That advert from the 1980s is to blame.  

I was shown into a huge, luxuriously decorated lounge with cushions and loungers spread across the floor. As the night wore on various neighbours and friends visited, staying for 30 minutes or so. Laughter is the best word to describe the evening. Collectively we did our best to put the world to rights, debating the various merits of groundwater over rainwater, or how to resolve the increasing salinity in the Arabian Gulf, or what to do with the growing mountain of 40 million used car tyres in the desert (any suggestions welcome by the way). There were fresh dates, home-made cakes and unlimited amounts of Red Tea and Arabic coffee. There was even homemade trifle. It really was like Christmas (just without the snow, the Christmas tree or the in-laws).

When I left at 1am I was embraced like a brother, with an invitation from the patriarchal grandfather who hosted the night that on my next visit we must meet at his farm. He claims the water is better there than in London. I suspect international etiquette will demand I agree.  


It is now just past 130am. I have a few short hours before Shaniker arrives to collect me. The caffeine coursing through my veins means tonight will be another fitful night (how does any one drink more than one cup of Arabic coffee without getting the shakes?). But it has been a good day of male bonding. I have enjoyed every minute, but I want to go home now. Male bonding is good, but it only goes so far. It is time now to see my wife.

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