No. 48: Swedish Brides

Today I have been in Sweden. Glorious landscapes and beautiful, intelligent people. Seriously, what is there not to like? Even the whole ‘raw fish for breakfast’ thing is actually kooky and interesting, once you get past the urge to retch.

I have been visiting one of the leading Swedish water contracting companies. Those who know the water sector won’t have to think too hard to identify the company. In fact I suspect it will just be my mum who will be in the dark (yes, she subscribes to these Notes, and yes, she duly told me off for the ‘Bonxbo’ Note a few weeks ago). To help her I will give the company name as a Guardian cross-word clue: 5 letters - Take out the ‘u’ and it’s an anagram of a rather unfortunate English word. (something tells me I am in trouble again).

I have known this company for about 20 years, although the last time I met them was back in 2004. They had just been bought by a new investor for the truly staggering price of 1 Swedish Krona (about 8p or 12cents). It was not a high point in the companies 70+ year history. I recall sitting in the office of the new CEO a couple of months after the deal had completed. I asked him how things were going and he blossomed right before my eyes. He said that it had been like walking up the aisle to meet your bride for the very first time, seeing her in her bridal veil, all her secrets hidden. In intricate detail he described how his excitement grew as he gradually undressed his bride, first removing her veil, then unbuttoning her blouse…. With each item removed he discovered something fresh and glorious about his new lady.

It may have been simply how he told the story but I couldn’t help sharing his excitement. He had landed an undiscovered beauty! It was very touching, if a little creepy (I can’t put my finger on it but something has clearly gone awry when middle aged business men discuss the undressing of fictional brides). I shared the above story today when I met with the new management team. They were not surprised.  ‘Ah, that would have been Hans’ they said, with their friendly Swedish smiles.

Hans is still involved in the company, but I didn’t get to see him. Something tells me they don’t let him out much now. Suffice to say that 10 years on the ‘bride’ has become a bit of a treasure. Investors and trade partners are ‘sniffing’ around her, working out whether they want to get involved or not. Tempting though it is to extend the bridal analogy to a mid-life, late-marriage, wife-swapping crisis I feel I should draw a line before I get in trouble with my mum again.

For the record, I would be happy just to be offered any company for a Krona. I would even accept a bit of ugly. If you come across a Swedish Bride, do please let me know.

No. 47: Sir Bob Geldof and I have something in common

Sir Bob and I share a common interest. Apparently he recently claimed every internet search uses as much energy as driving 65 miles. I have spent literally seconds researching this statement and can’t find any evidence that he actually said these words, but it’s clear he has been raising the profile of how much energy the IT industry uses. With us all now storing our data in the cloud there has been a surge in the requirement for massive Data Centres. A Data Centre is basically a giant fridge, filled with bank-upon-bank of computer servers, just so we can all see that photo from our childhood at a touch of a button.

The staggering fact is that around 5% of our total power demand is now used on cooling Data Centres (I spent a bit longer researching this fact, and there is lots of evidence with figures ranging between 1.1% and 10%). It is more than the aviation industry and the water industry combined.

Why am I interested in this?

Well, one of the investment areas we are interested in at Global Water Development is ‘Heating Networks’. These are great in countries like Russia or Scandinavia where the temperature is so cold for large parts of the year that a choir comprised of local brass monkeys would have no problem singing the high notes. They are not so good in countries like the UK where it is just damp most of the time.

Just as I was about to lose interest in heating networks I came across a small but experienced team who are developing plans to take waste heat from incinerators, convert this into ‘cold’ (via an absorption chiller) and then supply this ‘free cold’ to data centres. It might not be a traditional heating network but it’s very, very sexy. Its carbon neutral, can be done on a large scale and has big counterparties (eg Google) that make the project eminently bankable. The team have 4 sites almost ready to go. Sir Bob would be proud, if only he knew.     

My similarities with Sir B don’t end in our shared interest in reducing the carbon footprint of the IT sector. Whereas he was the former lead singer for the hugely successful and richly talented 1970s punk band ‘The Boomtown Rats’, I was the lead singer in a somewhat less successful and very poorly talented 1980s university group, called the ‘The Sex Kittens’ (at the time the name was meant to be ironic but it now just feels silly). Also neither of us like Mondays. We could be twins.

No. 46: Job Titles…again

A few months ago I wrote a Note about my latest (mildly ridiculous) Thames Water job title : ‘Managing Director for Non House Hold Retail (NHHR) and Commercial Director’. People kindly pointed out that it was too long to be practical, that household is actually one word not two, and that if I shortened it to the acronym MDFNHHRACD it would probably mean just as much. I thanked them and moved on. Life was too short.

Now I am at Global Water Development I have a nice simple title: Business Development Director. I like this title. It says what I do. I am a salesman. A rain maker. A door-opener. I create opportunities, build relationships, develop projects….

Not everyone likes this title. People have suggested that ‘Business Development’ says I am not a real power-brokers, that I don’t have any real responsibility, that senior executives won’t take me seriously. They may be right (although I believe the first 2 minutes in a meeting are far more important than what is written on your card).

Alternative titles have been suggested,  including Chief Technology Officer.  (I have always wanted to be a Chief. Do I get a squaw and a tepee of my own?)

I like my Business Development title. I am a salesman and proud of it. Without a good BD person nothing will happen. It’s the most important role, not the least. My job is to open doors that are closed, to make rain fall where there are deserts. I can think of nothing I would rather be right now than a salesman for Global Water Development. It is my calling….

Of course, deep deep down I know that no title can ever beat MDFNHHRACD. A little bit of me misses it.

No. 45: Picasso Sideways….

Today I hosted a visit to Reading Sewage Treatment Works from my new best friends: Mr Mohammed Hannifah, COO for Indah Water, and Brian Allum from International Water Specialists. Indah Water is the national wastewater company for Malaysia. They have 6000 wastewater sites and serve a population of 21 million. It was an honour to host their visit. Mr Haniffah was visiting the UK because he wanted to learn more about international best practices and, clearly, where else would one go. Only at Thames Water?

Well, not quite. He is also visiting a number of other UK water companies.

As we toured the site I learnt a number of interesting things. For example, on English sewage treatment works we talk about Fats Oils and Greases (FOGs). In Malaysia they just talk about Oils and Greases. No Fats. I can’t help thinking this is a poor reflection on our dietary habits. I also learnt, to my shame, that we are currently unable to operate the FOG removal system at Reading (our flagship works?) and thus the site was experiencing various problems with the downstream processes. Somewhat embarrassed I explained that we were having operational issues. Was this a problem that could only happen here. Only at Thames Water?

Well, no. Thankfully Mr Hannifah kindly acknowledged that every works has problems like this, that we are not alone, that it’s good to see the works in ‘true form’. It was very gracious of him.

After lunch we returned to our head office to close out our discussions. My PA, Sarah Jane, had booked us into the new 4^th floor meeting room (looking resplendent with its purple sofas and arm chairs). Overnight our Facilities Management team had put up some new art work. Reconstructions of famous works of art, painted by teams within Thames as part of the team building Transformation exercise. They are quite impressive, as you can see from the attached photo. It’s just a shame that our FM colleagues don’t seem to know which way is UP! Only in Thames Water?

Oh yes. Only in Thames Water. Makes you proud to be British. I particularly love the fact that someone has helpfully added Post Its with ‘Top’, ‘Bottom’, ‘Left’ and ‘Right’ written on them. I am only surprised there isn’t another one in the centre stating ‘This side to be facing the room’

(of course, I can hardly criticize. I can’t even count. As some of you have kindly pointed out, there were two Notes 43 and no Notes 44. Must try harder.)

No. 44: The best 5 hours of the week….

Today I booked some holiday and visited a small business in Haiti. The business is called DLo Haiti and it distributes water to rural communities. Its CEO, Jim Chu, is a truly inspiring man. You should know about him. Everyone should know about him.

First some facts. Haiti is a beautiful Caribbean island, surrounded by deep blue oceans, with white sandy beaches and lush mountain ranges. However since the 2010 earthquake Haiti is a country in recovery. 3000 people a year die of cholera. In rural areas unemployment is above 80%. People hustle to survive. They squeeze out an existence. Haiti doesn’t have the luxury of a water distribution network. In the big cities good quality water is supplied by tanker to street sellers. Outside the cities its frighteningly sporadic. When you can get it, clean water costs $33/m3. That’s 60 times the cost of US tap water. In Haiti, if you are poor you drink untreated well water, which is sold in the streets in 20 litre drums at a lower price than the clean water. Most of the time there isn’t much of a choice. Its dirty well water, or even dirtier canal water. Or nothing.

Jim’s vision for DLo Haiti is to establish a network of ‘water kiosks’. These are basically shops. Shops that sell clean water that has been produced on-site (using RO technology). He has 5 kiosks established already with another 15 planned for the next 12 months. This is not a charity. It’s a business. The water is priced at the same level as the dirty well water, and (crucially) the profit is shared through the supply chain. For the full story see the attached slides.

Jim is obsessed with building the local communities. It starts as ‘just’ a shop that sells water. But by employing locals money stays local. Suddenly the money isn’t going to the water trucking companies in the city. Next the kiosks sell other liquid products: such as milk – from Haitian cows and pasteurised on local Haitian farms. The water kiosk quickly becomes an integral part of the local community infrastructure. And that’s to say nothing of the healthcare benefits.

This approach is truly ground breaking. It is a fundamental shift in how water can be supplied in developing countries. Jim is proving the model in Haiti, but it could apply in many places around the world. Proving that water supply in developing countries can be economically sustainable is vital. Charity projects are great, but they are not a lasting solution. Often when a water pump breaks down (which they always do) no one local has the skills or capital to repair them. This is why most charity funded water pumps lie idle within a few years of construction. Water businesses need to be economically sustainable. And they need to be so deeply embedded into the local community that the community feels they ‘own’ them.

So successful has Jim’s kiosk model been that the locals apparently offered to ‘encourage’ a hotel to buy Kiosk water by setting tyres alight on the hotel front lawn. He wisely persuaded them against this strategy. In my few hours on the Island I got to visit a water kiosk, two resellers, and a local school. The school was particularly telling. 400 students and teachers sharing just under 150 lts of clean water a day. That’s two cups each if you are lucky. Madness. I sweated more than that whilst standing there (It was hot. I don’t have a health condition)

Isle gives a significant proportion of its profits to entrepreneurial businesses in the water sector in developing countries (through a charity we set up called REEF, the Revolving Economic Empowerment Fund). My goal in meeting Jim was to see if they were suitable for support from REEF. And they so are. Anyone who has followed these Notes this week will know it has been fairly manic. Exciting and fulfilling, but manic.

However the 5 hours I spent getting to know Haiti and DLo Haiti were, without a shadow of doubt, the best.

No. 43: Heroes and Villains

Today started badly. I fell out of my hotel bed at 430am to catch an airport taxi. On arrival at the airport I found my flight had been cancelled and I was being re-routed to a completely different airport where I would need to hire a car to complete my journey. It was only when I got to the Hertz desk (at my new airport) that I realised I had left my suit jacket, containing my credit card, in my hotel room back in NY. 

Fortunately I had another credit card with me. After 45 years of losing things - keys, wallets, phones, sense of humour, balance, virginity - I have learnt to always have a spare handy. 

I rang the hotel anticipating a long painful inquisition. After less than a minute I was talking to a fantastic chap. 10 minutes later he confirmed that he had retrieved my jacket and card (AND $75 I had forgotten about!) and would send it straight to me. As my trip still has Miami (tonight) and Haiti (tomorrow) I asked him to send it back to England, again bracing myself for a 'we can't ship it outside the US' response. However nothing is too difficult for Rafael Rosario, the Hero of the Park Avenue Hotel. 

My ultimate destination was a 52 year old (dirty, CO2-belching) coal fired power station where I was to view a new piece of water treatment kit. My host (the villain of this piece) upon hearing that I was a private equity investor, assumed I was anti-environment so peppered the tour with bile-laden references to 'those liberals in Washington', and complained vehemently about legislation to control mercury discharges. I decided to keep quiet about my Environmental Sciences degree. 

It was only at the end of the tour that he said 'Meant to ask at the beginning, my VP wanted me to check that you aren't involved in any environmental advocacy groups?' (Said whilst glaring into my eyes to check I didn't betray any tendencies towards softness or caring). 

Heroes and villains are everywhere. Although to be fair, I think my villain was actually a hero deep down. He has done some spectacularly clever, brave and ground breaking things to clean up his discharges (from his power plant, I can't speak about his personal habits). He may resent those pesky environmentalists but their activities have probably ensured he has a job for the next 20 years or so. And that people like me actually admire him. 

Bloody liberals. 

(And yes, you can have a spare virginity).

No. 42: Bald Man Wisdom

Today I have been hob-nobbing in NYC. I had lunch with the former commissioner for New York DEP (Department for Environmental Protection (basically the ‘Thames Water of New York’). Lovely bloke. Knows all you would ever want to know about the US public water sector. With him was one of his colleagues, whom I shall call Andy (cos that’s his name). Andy was just as knowledgeable but on the private water sector. Between them they were a force to be reckoned with.

As I ploughed my way through my enormous pastrami-on-rye sandwich (containing more meat than any sane person should eat in a month) I felt I should be taking notes. Sadly only one key statement has stuck in my mind. Before I share it you need to know that Andy is bald. Not completely bald, but rather he has that baldness where the top of his head is hairless yet around the edges he still has the virile fulsome growth that could put a teenager to shame…if only it were across the whole of his head. It is the baldness pattern that my grandfather had, my father has and I know I will have in a few short years. My lucky, lucky sons will also no doubt enjoy it too (along with most of the males on the planet).  

As we started talking about the ongoing and ridiculously severe drought in California Andy commented that actually there wasn’t really that big a water shortage. He claims (and I guess he should know) that there is plenty of water but it is just being used by the powerful agricultural sector. He even talked of Californian rice paddies (photo attached). So what were his words of wisdom? They were as follows, and you need to put on a strong NY accent to get the full value:

‘There ain’t no water shortage in California. It’s like my hairline. There is everything you need up there, it’s just all in the wrong place’.

I almost choked.

No. 41: Did you hear the one about the Englishman, the American and the Italian…

No, not the start of a bad joke. This is a story about three enterprising individuals who, in the late 1990s, decided to build a specialist industrial water treatment company. Over a 5 year period they gradually built the business, carefully acquiring a number of smaller companies, nurturing their innovative spirit, guiding them towards success. Eventually they had a business of scale (turnover of £50m) with a great reputation. A German trade buyer made them a juicy offer and they took it.

The Germans decided that it was best to integrate this delicate, some might say glorious, new creation into their big established corporate structure. They sacked the entrepreneurs who had grown the business and made everyone report into the existing German management structure. The business was destroyed within 6 months.

Our cosmopolitan heroes were unhappy. Yes, they had the money from the sale, but their ‘baby’ had been destroyed. They decided to do it all over again. Four years and five neat acquisitions later they have a great business, filled with promise and opportunity. To grow to the next stage they need a financial backer. Preferably one with clout. And deep pockets. And an understanding of the sector. And they need to be drop dead gorgeous. You can see why I was there.

I spent 8 hours today shut in a room in New Jersey hearing about their plans, their hopes, their dreams. They are passionate and dedicated. They are also a bit cautious. They have not forgotten the previous disaster. At the end of the meeting, when I had heard what I needed to hear and fallen just a little bit in love with them, I got to make my pitch: We are not a trade buyer. We don’t have a business we want to fold you into. We just have money, intelligent money. Money that understands the water sector. Money that can help you grow. Money that can put wind under your wings and help your business fly…

I got quite carried away. I think the jet lag may have kicked in. It all became a bit of a blur.

No. 40: Don't be a Bonobo

A year or so ago I wrote a Note in Thames making reference to a new insult I had heard while in Glasgow (thankfully not directed at me personally). I didn't understand it and was delighted to receive many explanations. My favourite was the advice to 'draw a Bell End and use your imagination'. However no matter what I drew I couldn't make it look like my penis. Maybe it's my penis that is a funny shape. Anyway, I have now come across a new insult and I thought I should share.

Apparently Bonobos are very very similar to humans. They are genetically one of our closest relatives. However one doesn't tend to see bonobos in zoos because the males have a habit of touching themselves in a manner that could scare the children, if you get my drift. This trait merely underscores just how close a relative they are to humans. They simply lack the moral compass that tells them such behaviour is wrong. 

So next time you meet someone who's moral code you question feel free to call them a bonobo. They won't understand the insult, but that probably just makes it even sweeter. 

IMPORTANT FOOTNOTE:

Having written the above I decided to add a photo (attached). Reading about them I realised what glorious beings Bonobos are. They are fantastic. According to primatologist Frans de Waal they are capable of ‘altruism, compassion, empathy, kindness, patience, and sensitivity’. To be called a Bonobo would be an honour, not an insult. I apologise for the confusion.

No. 39: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

First a good story: Ryan has had a baby. Well, technically I guess his wife did most of the work, but Ryan’s role was crucial. I have a photo on my phone but it is beyond my meagre IT skills to get this into this email. Zachary Richard Evan, 6lb 14 oz, born on Sunday night. Congratulations Mr and Mrs Evans. If I have done my maths right, this is the 8^th Isle baby in recent years. Not bad for a team of 30. What have you all be doing? (actually don’t answer that, I can work it out).

Now for a bad naming: Yesterday I learnt about a new company that does heat recovery from sewers. I love this idea. Sewer heat represents a massive untapped energy source. However, there are many doubters who (not unreasonably) claim that the temperature differential isn’t big enough and that it increases the risk of sewer blockages. They claim that the companies doing this are just snake oil salesmen trying to persuade people to buy their dodgy invention. It doesn’t help that this new company is called Sharc. (‘We are going to need a bigger boat…sorry, sewer’)

Finally an ugly truth. I sit on the UK Water Innovation Leadership Group. This group involves the great and the good from Defra, Ofwat, British Water etc. Not quite sure why I am there. To look pretty I think. A year ago the committee decided it would be good to create a web-site that captured all the various R&D activities that are undertaken in the UK water sector (by water companies, supply companies, universities etc). I had my doubts about this project. It would be impossible to gather coherent info, and even if we did it would be out of date almost instantly. However we placed a contract and the project was off and running.

A year on we have a web site with almost no data of any value on it. Over the past year 15 people have visited the site, spending an average of 20 seconds. In yesterdays’ meeting there was a half-hearted attempt to spin this unmitigated disaster as a positive story. A few of us strongly resisted, pointing out that if ever there was a time to knock this on the head it was now. That to perpetuate it was to waste both our time and our precious resources.

However to make this bold, hard, decision would be to show some backbone. It’s sometimes just too easy to continue with bad ideas. I fear the ugly truth is that committees, which are surely designed to have the collective power of many brains, are actually worthless. Compromise isn’t always the right answer.