No 166: Poster Boy

My face has been used fairly widely over the past few weeks to advertise Utility Week. I have lost track of the number of times people have come up to me and said that my grinning mug has appeared on their internet feed. I can only assume that earlier this year someone in a dark basement at the publishing firm Faversham House decided that my face was the perfect image to epitomise the water sector: a balding, middle aged, male looking ever-so-slightly smug. That, they no doubt confidently told themselves, that is the face of the UK water industry today.

I am of course delighted to be the Utility Week poster boy. It is a great event, and was held at Birmingham NEC earlier this week, in a space about the size of 10 football pitches. I estimate 10,000 people attended. The real game changer that made Utility Week 2017 stand head and shoulders above others were the multiple parallel conference sessions, all held on the main expo floor. This made it incredibly easy for the delegates to flex between different sessions/the expo, enhancing the whole experience for both attendees and presenters. To avoid unnecessary noise the delegates had headphones which meant they could lock into the conference speaker of their choice.

Aside from the fact that most of the attendees were over 35 and dressed in suits, it gave the conference the feel of a headphone disco at an open air festival after the noise curfew. (When I was presenting I definitely saw some of my audience rocking back and forth in their chairs.)

Perhaps the strangest person to comment on my image appearing in their internet feed was a friend at my local church. He works in the prison sector and has nothing to do with water. Upon learning that my friend had been targeted I wondered if Mr Google had got a sneaky insight into my religious beliefs and had decided to target similarly minded individuals. Realising this was unlikely I wondered instead if my recent driving ban (one month to go now!) had put me on an HMRC watch list.

I finally realised that the more likely explanation was that he was targeted because we had emailed in the past and Google never forgets a link. I am now hoping I will get adverts to attend exciting conferences in the prison sector. If they are going to use our data then this really should be a two way street.  

Once you get past the fact that I look like I am supressing flatulence it is actually quite a nice photo. My wife likes it,  but that is possibly because I don’t normally supress wind in her presence. She is used to the full, glorious, unedited Piers experience. Lucky lady. 

No 165: Wet, Windy and Wild: The secret of a good corporate retreat

It is not unusual for big companies to invest significant time and money bringing their senior teams together once or twice a year so they can bond and discuss company strategy. Isle Group (www.isleutilities.com ), the company for which I am Chairman, is no different. Our senior team is spread across the world from Australia to California, Abu Dhabi to London. Being relatively small (at just 50 people) we lack the budget some companies might have for this exercise, but I like to think we more than make up for it in imagination. We can’t afford 3 days in a posh hotel in a prime holiday location. For us it is 3 days bundled together, sharing rooms and toilets and all our associated personal functions, in a big house in the English coastal town of Southwold. Situated on the Suffolk coastline, with the foreboding North Sea and the chill east winds, I like to think the team bond through shared adversity. Forget luxury. Hardship is the glue that truly binds.

Throughout this week the President of ‘Isle America’, Cristina Ahmadpour, who is used to the sandy beaches of San Diego and the pristine, gloriously warm waters of the Pacific has resolutely refused to even dip her toe in the freezing grey North Sea. Yesterday evening however, following a mix of coaxing and cajoling from myself and our CFO we persuaded her to give it a go. I think the offer to bump up her flight back home from a seat at the very back of the plane to one that was near the very back of the plane was probably the deciding factor.

The rule was she had to fully immerse. See attached 30 second video link. I particularly like Cristina’s impressive face plant and her accompanying Californian squeal. Note also the perfect synchronization as Ryan (our CFO) and I enter the water. We were channelling Tom Daley and Daniel Goodfellow, Ryan especially so with his exceptionally small budgie smugglers.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-kNR9H2w43gOHpYWXM2UWFxTGc/view?usp=sharing

Why do something one once, when there is the perfect opportunity to do it twice? Especially if you can bring in all your friends. As the evening progressed and the wine flowed, the team bonded and at midnight a second dip, this time without the protection of a wet suit, seemed a good idea. Midnight is clearly not the best time for decision making in the Isle family.

It is only now, as I look at the photos, that I see that our MD for Europe, Dutchman Dr Ignaz Worm, appears to have been so whipped up by the enthusiasm that he didn’t let the fact he lacked swimming trunks deter him. Underpants are just as functional. Now that’s impressive team bonding. Beat that IBM and Google!

Fun fact: Someone in the Isle senior team has the copyright symbol, ©, tattooed on the upper cheek of their left buttock. It looks like they have been stamped for the Congestion Charge. Bless.

Cristina - BEFORE THE SWIM

Cristina - AFTER THE SWIM

BEFORE THE MIDNIGHT DIP

AFTER THE MIDNIGHT DIP